To find the delicate place between collusion and confrontation takes skill and good luck.
In the therapeutic context, its about walking the thin line between collusion and appropriate collaboration i.e the therapeutic alliance
NB A necessary precondition for effective therapy: I am willing to loose my client (straight after this session) ie.just like the judiciary, financial and emotional independence are necessary for a therapist to be able to deliver successful therapy
What is your physical state? how is your sleep? do you get any exercise? r u on medication? do you self medicate? do you have any addictions? (More accurate: what addictions do you have?)
Where is your life working – what wouldn’t you change? (Immediately turns the client towards a realization that their dysfunction is not omnipresent)
if therapy “works” how will your life look? What’s the result you want to create?
How will you and others know you’ve achieved this? (results of therapy must be quantifiable
How important is this proposed change to you? are you willing to sacrifice or give up anything in order to have/create it (turns the client towards thnking about their own levels of motivation, reponsibility and engagement with the therapeutic process. Implicit in the question is that clent is the primary driver of change)
“in the end (and at the beginning) people have to start somewhere”
“what’s a really usefull thing we can do right now” Immediacy – all process is postponement.