Saturday, March 31, 2018

Six degrees of separation Part V: creeping acceptance and surrender

Like most people going through a significant transition, experience is slowly teaching me, in little incremental steps, that life goes on.

Back on February 4, the day my wife phoned me and told me she wanted to come back to the house she had left, to be with our boys, and that I must vacate the house, a good friend had said to me (earlier) on that day

a) get your shit together
b) I am not a victim...I co created this situation over many years with my selfishness and willfullness and taking things and people for granted.

That was very important to hear, and remains a central part of my healing two months later

Lying here in a tepid bath of pain
trying to get that there's no one to blame

I am afraid
that the silence will
swallow me

O son of Chavah and Adam
you do not need to be saved from the silence
Silence will save you

I and aloneness have been spending some quality time together.

Ah my bride Presence
how beautiful your veils:


thank you
for the way
they part to reveal your
ever shifting beauty

Into a mikvah of pain
I ascend
perhaps to be birthed
into love without end