Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Why not there, but here?

Perhaps one of the reasons I don't live in Israel is that I am afraid I will get caught up in the great sea of reactivity which is so present in the minds of so many Palestinians and Israelis. I'm reasonably convinced that were I there and having to deal with real loss, or the fear of loss, I'd take on all that reactivity myself, and become just another part of the problem, rather than a beacon of clarity and part of some (relative) solution.

It seems to me that living In Israel or Palestine the pressures to put on a cloak of madness in order to stave off the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune and carefully nurtured resentments are immense...I felt the naked of my small pink hairy body in that context, and how, without some suitably insane story about them us, weak strong, protection vulnerability teach them a lesson make them hurt the way they've hurt us to prop me up, the wind would blow me over into Gei ben Hinnom, where I would encounter all my worst fears.