Rub and Tug

Occasionally

I have gone to a massage parlour

before going back to the ones I love

Once two women offered themselves

for a certain amount plus 10% on amex
and not in the least bit reluctantly
i said yes
one was from Thailand, the other Taiwan

the thai woman rubbed my feet ineffectually

but I felt too sorry for her to murmur anything but

how wonderful it was

the taiwanese women was more effective

and her english was better

and her act generally slicker

when I turned over from stomach to back she took charge

(she had a strange bony protrusion just above her coccyx

congenital or childhood accident?

she said other clients had also commented upon it

and stopped for a moment to examine herself

and feel the area above the buttocks

of the thai woman to compare)

then continued, wanting to get it over with, but I asked her to wait a moment longer

now sorry I'd paid the Thai to come along as she was really rather absent

as was I, as sometimes happens, I popped in and out of an irksome disembodiedness

watching it all unfold from a distance, while my body responded in its habitual arc

the Taiwanese whispered expletives in my ear and

I was like an actor

determined to play my role and support her in hers

but also wanting my money's worth, these visits being rare,

I asked the Siamese to sit behind me and hold me

so that I and the other women could be more together

(you see how men really are monagamous)  

so she held me and I held the Taiwanese

til her work was done, and she whispered

crude words perhaps some clients had liked

and I said I don't want fuck I want love

which is true, and bowed to them

the bhuddha on the massage table

they, immediately rehumanised

I, too awkward with my own duplicity to fully inhabit

mr sensitive but the sweet melancholy

I felt was genuine enough

for them and me and all creation

so far away from home

 

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