The agony of detail

Its not easy to write honestly, to hide nothing from the reader, to not to present an idealised self, no matter how subtle the manipulation...but I suspect the power of the writing is in direct proportion to the honesty.
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I have an aversion to detail, I don't seem to have the patience for it, I want to rush into abstractions and the unification of apparently discreet pehenomena. This is why it is highly unlikely I - as I am currently constituted in my 'false fixities' - will ever write a novel.
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I have adopted the daily routine of a successful writer; I arise in the morning, drop child off at school, and then spend the morning writing in the library, before returning home and futskering around for the rest of the day with minor domestic duties and inconsequential activity til its time for bed: only problem is I'm not a successful writer, and I don't have the economic base to support such a lifestyle;
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Instead of choosing between poetry and pragmatism, I have embarked upon a programme of pragmatic poetry.

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Footnote to my WIP: "My life as a footnote" *
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* he bestrode the world stage like a crack between the floorboards

The dramatist vs the moralist

moralists judge and preach first, good dramatists witness first. That's why I've not ('til now) been a hugely powerful dramatist whereas even an agenda driven writer such as George Bernard Shaw never allowed his convictions to overpower his stories and characters.

The dramatist is more in the witness position. They may evaluate their characters but they don't judge them. As such they are closer to G-d. By letting go and standing back they make space for more creativity, more life. (It is what plays out on the screen of consciousness....that's why its sometimes called a "screen - play.")

The moralist is in the judgement position. They want to preserve and grow the good, and end or reduce the bad. They have a strong sense of what is good, and what is not. They are intolerant of deviance, and feel a need to preach, analyse, label and sort. They are driven by the notion that they will betray the cause if they open to an alternative point of view. I occupy the moralist position more than the dramatist one.

But deeper still the moralist is really just a drama - just like other roles we occupy such as "superwoman", "lone ranger", "quiet strong type", "poor me", "Mr Angry", "Mrs Nice", "Mr Reliable", "The Rebel", "The conformist" etc. In films like "American Beauty" (the marine colonel who is secretly gay) or stories like Somerset Maugham's "Rain" we see the drama crack, as all dramas must.

Drama's compress change processes that may occur over may years into a few minutes - the moments when new options are glimpsed and perhaps acted upon. So many films begin at points in their characters lives when the characters are ripe for change - whether they know it or not. ( Are feel good endings in synch with life?)

To write is not a right

To write is not a right, it is a need, or, if there is no such thing as a need, then it is, at the very least, a want. And not everyone merits to fulfill that want. For the last six or so years I have been trying to build an economic platform for my writing - a partial "room of my own" that I can enter without defaulting on my other responsibilities - with only very limited success.

So I have to "steal" time for my writing, and do so often, addictively, some might say irresponsibly as I neglect more prosaic and economically valued tasks in favour of pouring out what rises in me. Anoos al pi hadibbur. Forced by the word.

My duty IS to write poetry.
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The work of recognising and acknowledging our connections precedes (or at least happens simultaneously with) the thinking and writing of poetry, because all poetry is a manifestation of those connections....of course the poetry itself is a way of amplifying the recognition and acknowledgement of those connections....that's one of the reasons the sage Hillel said 2000 years ago "don't seperate yourself from the community".