The Body's "Betrayal" - bringing it all back home

What kinds or aspects of sexuality get shunted to the margins and delegitimised in popular discourse, thus driving them underground where they fester? For example some victims/survivors/experiencers of incest, rape or other forms of sexual abuse are subtly encouraged to publicly own their pain, trauma, shock, ongoing resultant dysfunctionality and maladaptions, but are not so subtly discouraged (via social learning, the feedback we get from others) from publicly owning their body's pleasure response to the incident, They are thus left to wrestle on their own - or perhaps in therapy - with their own guilt about, bewilderment with, and possible rage at, let us call it, the body's betrayal. Fear driven approaches based on an imaginary future - slippery slope arguments - lead to unnuanced approaches which do not reflect or acknowledge complex realities. And this in turn promotes fragmented rather than integrated beings.

Adam ve Chava (Adam and Eve) - chatuna shemaymit

When I encounter my wife in the bedroom, (or have encountered any woman in any sexual encounter) I want to encounter her as a man, as a representative of manhood, as the essence of maleness, meeting  her as a woman, as a representative of femininity, as the  essence of femaleness. I am only interested in her and me - at that point in that context - as generic bodies, each representative of our type. Along with shedding our clothes, I need to shed everything else I "know" about her and I, all the other roles we play and the things we are - in the bedroom they are intrusions, dividers, blocking the call to return to some elemental form that all of life participates in. It is not her specificities I am seeking...these are with me outside the bedroom...and it is not my Imanuel-ness I am seeking to offer: this too is incessantly available duing my waking hours. What I crave is us as incarnations of the most basic and universal types, (either conferred upon us by our bodies or else manifested as our bodies) coming into uniopn and restoring balance - the celestial wedding.

Please Note

I think most men go to sex workers in order to be reminded that sex, or at least the purely physical mechanical dimensions of sex - are not really that important to them
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mean are sexually polygamous and emotionally monagamous
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Advice to middle aged men who are not in a relationship or who are temporarily stumped as to how to reinvigorate the sexualdimension of their relationship, and who over eat too much. Everytime you want to spend money on a little pastry or coffee or burger or shwarma or icecream in an attempt to nurture yourself, but which your spreading stomach and wasitline testify that your body does not need, instead put the dollars aside in a little money box. In a short time you'll have enough saved to go for a nurturing massage or to a sex worker for a hand job or anything else you agree upon... probably more nurturing , and much healthier than abusing the body with uneeded food.
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On the polymorphousness of human sexuality, socialisation, repression, taboos and projection

Be warned - here we venture into "dangerous" and uncomfortable territory...but the desire to articulate and free what is left to fester in the dungeons of the insane distraction and avoidance of the self we call "Western culture" is strong..so here goes....and please don't shoot the messenger


When a police inspector views child pornography, confiscated from a paedophile ring, a part of him, despite himself, is aroused. His disgust at this part of himself, which almost no-one will ever know about, and might be only revealed in the most unique or confidential circumstance, this disgust is so huge it gets alchemised into a murderous and righteous loathing and hatred for the perpetrator(s), as a way of ruthlessly repressing and suppressing his own capacity for disassociated cruelty….he is frightened by that part of himself, the voice of his education and socialisation warns him of the catstrophic consequences, the burning shame, were that part to live in any way, and so, were the perpetrator of the violations he has watched in front of him now, he would be sorely tempted to take the law into his own hands and beat to a pulp the perpetrator, to silence the deviant without and more importantly within.

Thus would he act out and symbolically sacrifice and eliminate / exterminate that part of himself that is judged dangerous and not fitting to be….. and that is how Western society, and perhaps all human society functions. It is not completely dissimilar to the rage of undepaid security guards who work mindless exploitative 12 hour shifts in South Africa, standing in cold streets next to booms, or in shopping centres overflowing with a plenty that is not for them..and if they catch a thief, or a suspected thief, who has perhaps committed crimes at other times but not this time, or who has perhaps never comitted any crime except the crime of being slightly strange, and he is safely caught ( not a thief on the loose and part of an armed and dangerous gang, on which it is harder to project), then their accumulated rage can come pouring out onto that real or imaginarythief, and if it is in a township or far away from the rule of law, that thief will be lucky if his death is a relatively quick one.

And so it is with animal circus acts and battery hens and cosmetics tested on animals and fur coats and the Holocaust and Rwanda and the Darfur massacres – the human capacity for splitting and disassociation seems sometimes almost without limits. But of course this is only when viewed from Bleak House.
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On the male obsession with large penises going into small orifices.....what does it mean symbolically and in the place where analytical thought slows and something else seems to take over????

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One school of thought assumes retributive punishment is some kind of prophylactic against other people acting out when all the evidence points to the opposite - it simply drives so called deviant behaviours underground and the lesson learnt is "I'd better not get caught".

Paedophilia is a collective creation to do with our society's constructions of adulthood vs childhood, the things our society represses, the brutalization and disconnection of people - particulary men- as they are socialised into acceptable and insane forms of masculinity....it cannot be "cured" with finger wagging and state sanctioned violence - it can only be cured by increased consciousness...as Krishnamurti wrote "the seeing is the doing" - only when the dtynamics of the problem are fully comprehended does it dissolve by itself.

I think a reading of G B Shaw's introduction to his Joan of Arc is called for here, or Miller's the Crucible...the terrible evil done by the self-righteous and sanctimonious as they persecute "the wicked"....the inqusitions of the "moral" majority who stamp out the sins of heresy on the rack, as if paedophilia, domestic violence, addiction, institutionalised dehumanisation of the other are out there, locatable in someone else rather than in our own thousand daily acts of smug indifference as we turn away from the needy again and again again...spare me the middle class morality play!

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Many perversions take place openly, for example warfare, factory farming, horse and greyhound racing, trophy hunting,
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Thoughts at a meditation session

"He has cracked heels like a dry river bed...she's got BIG breasts....mmmm...love to get my lips on those and have a good suck...mind you, no correlation between how much the nipple projects and breast size....remember Yael's....maybe I can chat to her at tea afterwards...if she's alone."
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people dancing naked around a tennis court
stopping at stations
to give and receive what they like
without shame or fear of censure
but be careful
AIDS, STIs and the reproductive powers of the universe
are no child's play
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older men
including me
fantasise about having sex with younger women
on occasion
how could we not?
but this is tempered by
life experience
and the bigger picture
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