Piggery

I did a shop today with an 86 year old Jew originally from Hungary that was like a Vegan Greenie's worst nightmare. He stopped at a Europen style 'delicatessen' and bought many flacid, pink phallus-like things stuffed with minced pig flesh and nitrates and god knows what else. He bought shaved ham and pulled ham and quartered ham and tortured ham. He bought salamis and brockwurst and blackwurst and bloodwurst and umpteen cheeses. He bought duck liver pates and if he could have bought the testicles of bulls and the brains of sheep he would have.

Then we tottered on grimly to Coles where, despite my offers of cotton bags I'd specifically brought along, and despite my horrified and hate filled glances, he insisted on putting each piece of fruit, and each vegetable he bought, into a separate plastic bag...those microthin plastic bags that are good only for choking turtles and uglifying landscapes. By the time we got back to his unit I was ready to accidentally push him down the lift shaft, but somehow desisted. Instead I whistled the tune from "Bridge over the River Kwai."