"No one can humiliate you without your permission" (Eleanor Rooseveldt)
In CBT and similar approaches between external event and internal
emotional response there is the interpretive, meaning making faculty of
the mind. "He / they made me feel dirty..." "She hurt me" "You're making
me angry.."...all of these statements demonstrate the principle of
false causation. It is your - and my -unquestioned thoughts about the
external event which leave us feeling sad, heavy, tense, hurt, angry,
numb, resentful or the opposite - light, easy, relaxed, open, alive.
This is why two people can respond completely differently to the same
external event, and experience opposite emotional reactions.
When
Shakespeare said nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so he
meant it, and with no exceptions. Violence, disease, death, the end of
relationships, accidents, amputations - all of these have hidden
blessings and their meaning in our lives shifts depending upon which set
of thoughts we have about them. Gam zoo letovah - "also this is
for the good", it says in the Talmud, i.e something that at first seems
like a terrible tragedy may slowly or quickly reveal itself as a gift,
if we are open enough to receive it. Perhps this is also a reason the Talmud says a person
That this is so is experientially
verifiable. It puts people firmly back in the driving seat, able to
generate an internal contentment irrespective of what happens and how it
initially differed from our expectations ( really demands) of how Life
and people "should be".
But people give this power away to others -
treat me right and I'll be happy, treat me (what I consider) bad and
I'll be sad. These are the mind forged manacles Blake writes about, and
these are the mind forged manacles Victor Frankl threw aside in the
concentration camps.
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