Monday, October 28, 2024

Gabriel did his undergraduate degree in anthropology and economics in Argentina.  When he finished he felt unsettled, and decided to travel before entering the world of work. He ended up backpacking in the south of India, and ended up in Kerala. As these things happen he met a documentary maker there, who was making a documentary about the Indian Jews of Cochin. The filmaker and Gabriel hit it off, and Gabriel got involved with the production, in a volunteer capacity,drawing upon his anthropology background, and learning about filmaking. 

The filmaker told Gabriel he would be travelling to Israel, where most of the Cochin community had emigrated. Gabriel called his parents, who said they would fund a ticket to Israel, happy their son was travelling to the Jewish homeland and secretly hoping he might meet a suitable partner there.

Although he did not meet a partner there, Gabriel fell in love with Israel. He decided to enroll for a Masters in "Documentary Story telling" ast a little film school in tel Aviv. There was a girlfriend or two, but nothing lasted longer than six months. While a student, partly because the idea titillated him, and partly because he was paid for it, which helped fill out his meagre student allowance, he donated sperm to a fertility clinic adjacent to the Soroka hospital in Tel Aviv. After six months of regular visits to the clinic they told him his services were no longer required, as some couples had conceived from the donations and there was a limit to how much each donor contributed.  

When Gabriel completed his degree he looked for work. After applying unsuccessfully for countless jobs he found a role at the Steven Spielberg Jewish Film Archive cataloging material, but it was a bit of a nowhere job. He had a 3 month fling with a woman he met at an energy healing workshop, but after three months it fizzled out by mutual agreement.

Gabriel, believing he was treading water,  decided to return to the land of his birth, Argentina, for a holiday, and spend some time closer to his parents and a sibling who had married. As happens, his life unfolded as life does. He began working as a research assistant for a production company, and looked for opportunities to make documentaries where his interest in anthropology and film making coalesced. He had two relationships, the second of which turned into marriage, a son and a daughter, a house with a mortgage, some successes and struggles with work, and the ups and downs of life.

The family travelled, the children grew bigger, the marriage was good, but gradually little cracks appeared and the couple slowly drifted apart. By the time both children were attending university the shared life tasks that had been the last remaining glue had dissolved, and Gabriel and his wife decided upon an amicable separation. Gabriel found himself living alone in a two bedroom apartment in Buenos Aires, seeing his children only now and then. They were well adjusted kids, leading increasingly busy lives of their own, and did not have much time or interest in anything but perfunctory contacts. 

There had been a number of terror attacks on Israelis in the last few months, one in the suburb where Gabriel had lived as a student some 30 years ago. He was lonely. The connections which had anchored him to Buenos Aires had somehow evaporated. The impulse arose in him, suddenly, unbidden, to revist the country where he had spent happy years as a relatively carefree student, and after some deliberation he arranged his life so he could spend three months in Israel, 6 weeks volunteering with an organisation that supported orphans whose families had been killed in bombings and shootings, the rest of the time free to travel and look up old acquaintences.

One of the Israeli staff at the organisation was a young woman in her late 20s, a social work student who was doing her placenment at the organisation. Gabriel felt strongly attracted to her, her youth and vitality and kindness. He tried to find excuses to invite her for coffee, ostensibly to discuss organisational matters, but really just so he could spend time with her. She told him about her conflicts  and aspirations, that she was recovering from the breakup of a seven year relationship, and what she hoped to do with her degree when she finished. Gavriel listened, made suggestions, admitted he was attracted to her. She came back to the Air B & B he was renting one night. They kissed. then kissed again.  

"You don't mind that I'm old enough to be your father"
"Give me another drag of that joint and I won't mind"

They slept together

She said it was probably a mistake, but they slept together again. He told her he did not have much to go back to Argentina too, and would commit to her if she did not want to look for a more appropriate age mate. He also offered to take her back to Argentina. She ended the relationship. He finished the six weeks, still besotted with her, but travelled north to help pick fruit on a moshav whose labourers had fled ongoing missiles from Lebanon. After a month in the North he received a phone call.

"I'm pregnant" she said, " I'm taking it as a sign. I've decided to keep them. I'm sure he or she will look a lot like us." 

"We should get some genetic testing" he told her. For "Tae Sachs syndrome, and the other Ashkenazi stuff."

They did the tests. It turned out she was his daughter.



Wednesday, August 21, 2024

How may I be of excellent service to you today?

 Scene in a restaurant:

Customer: waiter....waiter.
His friend: what do you want?
Customer: I just want them to bring us some water while we're waiting. Waiter. WAITER.
(eventually his gesticulating catches the attention of a waiter who comes over)
Waiter: what can I get you?
Customer: we've already ordered, but it seems to be taking a long time. can we get some water for the table please?
Waiter: Of course. would you like iced water or room temperature?
Customer: room temperature is fine.
Waiter. Room temperature it is. Two glasses or would you like me to bring a jug as well?
Customer: A jug would be good, especially if you're going to keep us waiting a long time for our food.
Waiter: (laboriously making notes on phone) jug....two glasses....room temperature...right. Would you like that water fizzy or plain?
Customer: is there an additional charge for fizzy?
Waiter: No sir, it's all on the house
Customer. Fizzy then. Can you bring it now...am starting to get thirsty from all these qiuestions.
Waiter: Certainly. Would you like your bubbles to be carbon dioxide or nitrous oxide? We have a machine that can do either...
Customer: However it comes. just bring some water.
Waiter: Would you like your water served in glasses or in this new line of biodgradable cups we're trying out?
Customer: I don't care!
Waiter: Please choose an option.
Customer. Glasses!
Waiter (laboriously records notes on phone). I'll be back very soon with your water.
Waiiter goes. Customer [plays angrily with his cutlery, waiting for the food, or the water, to appear. Eventually it does. Waiter puts down a jug of sparkling water with a slice of lemon in itm, and two cut crystal glasses.
Customer: At last.
The waiter hovers nearby as customer 2 pours customer 1 a glass of water, and then one for himself. they both drink.
Waiter: (stepping back close to the table) how is your water gentleman?
Customer 2; Its fine. its water.
Waiter: temperature ok?
Customer 1: yes, can you go and see where our order is
Waiter: certainly but may I ( he removes a tablet from a pocket in his apron) ask you just to give us some feedback and do a very quick customer satisfaction survey regarding your water experience with us?
Customer 1: No, I don't want to do any surveys. I came here to eat, not to look at screens. And I haven't had a "water experience'. i asked for water. you brought it. I've had a few sips and hope to have more while you find out where the food we ordered 30 minutes ago is.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, I can't proceed to the next course until you take the survey. Its just one of the little ways we strive to improve our service and enhance customer satisfaction.
Customer 1: but you are creating a very dissatisfied customer here, that's my feedback!
Waiter: I'm sorry its restaurant policy, i don't make the rules. It's only take a minute (thrusts tablet at customer 1, customer 2 takes it)
Customer 2: I'll do it, just so we can get our food and get out of here. (He scrolls through, touching screen to answer multiple questions and give star ratings for multiple metriics regarding their 'water experience. Finishes, hands back to waiter.) There
Waiter: (takes tablet, looks at it, scrolls down) Do you mind me asking, sir, why you've only rated us 1 for service?
Customer 1 This is ridiculous, call the manager.
Waiter: i can do that for you, but first you need to fill in a complaint form ( scrolls and gestures on tablet), I'll just get it up for you... oh, sorry I have to get it off our intranet and I don't have the password on this one, I'll be back soon.
The waiter disappears.
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Invisible Eyes

 Invisibilise


Invisibilise
decades of trauma
plo massacres of school children
Israeli athletes castrated
by Black September

invisibilise
the psychic wounds
the open sores, a synecdochal sample: 1979
4 year old Einat Haran, skull smashed in by samir kuntar, who murders her father Danny Haran,
baby sister Yael Haran suffocates to death while terrified mother tries to keep her from crying and
revealing their hiding place.
upshot? upon release from Israeli prison in prisoner exchange kuntar awarded Syria's highest medal
and honoured by Iranian President mahmoud ahmadinejad

invisibilise the successful
torpedoing of the Oslo accords by
wave after wave
of hamas suicide bombings
blowing up teenagers at a
dischoteque
leaving dancers armless and legless
or pensioners at a pesach seder
hands trembling a little
as they navigate
spoon to mouth and then trembling no more
bits of flesh in the chandeliers

invisibilise
twisted buses, twisted bus stops
charred bodies, only dna
may establish who they were
as they headed to market
to buy tomatoes and cucumbers

invisibilise the stabbings
teenagers taken to caves
their hands bound, bodies punctured
with knife wounds

invisibilise
bombs backed with rusty nails
and bolts to tear flesh apart

invisibilise 19 year old
Ori Ansbacher
raped and murdered while walking home
"the Zionist bitch deserved it, she had the temerity
to live in the land of her ancestors"
later the grove planted in her memory destroyed by Palestinian vandals.

invisibilise the psychological torture, the television threats
to the descendants and remnants of a genocide
"we'll destroy you just as you were destroyed 75
years ago"

invisibilise the relentless cyber attacks
the gross charicatures, the demonisation, the dehumanisation

invisibilise the
pile on
by trade unions, professional associations, teachers, academics, artists, journalists, all suddenly and
myopically focussed on their shadow aspects of self projected onto Israel. Safe. easy. Convenient.
How many Israel lovers you gonna rub shoulders with at work or in your book club?

invisibilise the war in Sudan
8.5 million on brink of starvation
and Yemen, Xianjing, Tibet, Myanmar
no poems for them
no self righteous indignation
no resolutions in council
no marches in the street

invisibilise the ecocide
the daily missiles made in Iran
setting zionist planted forests ablaze and driving
terrified jackals and hedgehogs and lizards who manage to escape the flames towards the illusion of
safety
the fruit
rotting on the trees
farmers unable to attend to their crops

invisibile the kidnapped,
the raped and then murdered
a red haired baby and toddler bother, whole family
snatched out of their home
whereabouts unknown
corpses of murdered Israelis left to rot
in subterranean tunnels

invisibilise
Judih Weinstein Haggai, seventy years old
an English teacher, poet, peace activist who worked with children with special needs. Used
meditation and mindfulness techniques to treat children suffering from anxiety caused by years of
rocket fire that have plagued residents of the Gaza border area. murdered with her 72 year old
husband Gadi Haggai on October 7,
along with Thai workers, Beduin,
Russian, French, US, UK, Ukranian nationals

invisibilise
the high on Captagon crazed Islamists
shoving machine gun barrels up the bloody vaginas
of the women they've just gang raped
or towing dissidents roped behind motorbikes
around the streets of gaza
throwing homosexuals and political rivals off
rooftops, enforcing a terrible homogenity and
preaching maediaval blood libels
and then
weave some kind of fairy tale that this
regressive barbarism
equals
"the resistance"

close one eye
so you only see gaza
not the other side of the border
so you don't see the North of Israel
depopulated by more missiles than the blitz
150 000 more
pointing at you

close one eye
so you only see the snippet
not the before or after

close both eyes
so you don't see yourself
staring back at you in the mirror
preaching and sanctimoniously stealing
your cheap and easy rectitude

one thing I know for sure
if you sat where Israelis sat
fucker
you'd be doing a whole lot
worse than them

Monday, August 5, 2024

Politically correct ad for educating around informed consent

VO "Get the facts...do you know when consent has been given?

VISUALS all kinds of couples for inclusivity - gay couples,  a person in a wheelchair with a partner who has both breasts and a penis, multi ethnic lesbian couples, a pair of wrinkled and naked 80 year olds embracing as one balances themselves with a walking stick, 

CUT TO hetrosexual younger couple are having at it, making the beast with two backs, the female urges the man on, yes yes yes, he is pumping away, intense passion, 

Her: yes yes yes darling, fuck me....

he groans she moans, she groans , he moans....

Him: oohh I'm about to ...

Her: STOP, STOP, I withdraw consent. 

Him: I'm coming oooh.....sorry, sorry too late

Her: you bastard , you raped me.

Freeze frame of this scene; big red graphic over it ...

Consent has not been given! this is stautory rape! 

Naked man is taken away in handcuffs cupping his penis as best he can


Monday, May 20, 2024

Notes towards poems 5784 -5

Some Christian missionaries
knock on my door
wanting to tell me about
God's word
I politely respond
in Hebrew

FB Nov 12
_________________

typos on tombstones:
a grave mistake

Nov 11
_________________________


over the decades
the dance of the teeth
happens very slowly

like an old growth forest
that seems very still
but is full of secret life

___________________

FAMILY
and how
we would race home
excited to see you
and tip toe in
silently
so as to surprise
you
on our bed
and then
falling upon you
the boys' burying
their faces
in your just woken
from dozing
fur
an orgy of
greeting
your
belly exposed
and your
tail going madly
thump
thump
thump

Nov 3 FB
__________

"The Zionists
are committing
genocide in
Gaza"
she said
and bit
into her
gassed pig
bacon roll

Nov 2 FB _____________________
FB 12 Oct

People in Australia
sipping cappucinos
in outdoor cafes

are demanding that
people in Israel
in bombshelters
or lying on roads
hands covering their heads
as explosions and shrapnel
fill the sky

explain what they are doing
to protect the lives
of the people raining missiles down
upon them

_____________________________


FB Oct 10 24


As the light was fading
looking at the bay
and the big jet liners
coming into land
I stood there
saying
"please Hashem
please Hashem"

and I did not even know
what I was asking for
______________________

fb Oct 10

funeral costs:
once in a lifetime expenses

_____________________

FB Oct 7 2024

October 7 2023

I'm making my
new space
ordered and functional
and comfortable
and
comforting

assembling Ikea
furniture
hanging up pictures
potting plants
feathering my nest
for myself and any guests
pouring my heart into it
to make it home
and the thought inescapable
what if I'd been doing this
for many years
and someone came
into my safe space
my inner sanctum
and undid my care
and violated, in every way,
my tender love?
as they did
___________________

fb Oct 1

techiyat hamaytim (revival of the dead)
after the arid
shabbat morning
service
the brocha
every one eating
and talking

FB Sept 29 24

Sunday evening
8:35 pm
bunnings, coles or woolworths
even the couple
walking down the aisle
look lonely

__________________

Sept 28

I drove
into the night
into loneliness
into its
living
pulsing
blazing
heart
_____________

Invisibilise

Invisibilise
Invisible
Eyes

invisibilise decades of trauma
plo massacres of school children
Israeli athletes castrated
by Black September
Invisibilise the psychic wounds
the open woundings, a synechdocal sample: 1979
4 year old Einat Haran, skull smashed in by samir kuntar, who murders her father Danny Haran, baby sister Yael Haran suffocates to death while terrified mother tries to keep her from crying and revealing their hiding place.
upshot? upon release from Israeli prison in prisoner exchange kuntar awarded Syria's highest medal and honoured by Iranian President mahmoud ahmadinejad,

invisibilise the successful
torpedoing of the Oslo accords by
wave after wave
of hamas suicide bombings
blowing up teenagers at a
dischoteque
leaving dancers armless and legless
or pensioners at a pesach seder
hands trembling a little
as they navigate
spoon to mouth and then trembling no more
bits of flesh in the chandeliers

invisibilise
twisted buses, twisted busstops
charred bodies, only dna
may establish who they were
as they headed to market
to buy tomatoes and cucumbers

invisibilise the stabbings
teenagers taken to caves
their hands bound, bodies punctured
with knife wounds

invisibilise
bombs backed with rusty nails
and bolts to tear flesh apart

invisibilise 19 year old
Ori Ansbacher
raped and murdered while walking home
"the Zionist bitch deserved it, she had the temerity
to live in the land of her ancestors"
later the grove planted in her memory destroyed by Palestinian vandals.

invisibilise the psychological torture, the television threats
"we'll destroy you just as you were destroyed 75
years ago",
invisibilise the relentless cyber attacks
the gross charicatures, the demonisation, the dehumanisation

invisibilise the
pile on
by trade unions, professional associations, teachers, academics, artists, journalists, all suddenly and myopically focussed on their shadow aspects of self projected onto Israel. Safe. easy. Convenient. How many Israel lovers you gonna rub shoulders with at work or in your book club?

invisibilise the war in Sudan
8.5 million on brink of starvation
and Yemen, Xianjing, Tibet, Myanmar
no poems for them
no self righteous indignation
no resolutions in council
no marches in the street

invisibilise the ecocide
the daily missiles made in Iran
setting zionist planted forests ablaze and driving
terrified jackals and hedgehogs and lizards who manage to escape the flames towards the illusion of safety
the fruit
rotting on the trees
farmers unable to attend to their crops

invisibile the kidnapped,
the raped and then murdered
a red haired baby and toddler bother, whole family
snatched out of their home
whereabouts unknown

Invisibilise
Judih Weinstein Haggai, seventy years old
an English teacher, poet, peace activist who worked with children with special needs. Used meditation and mindfulness techniques to treat children suffering from anxiety caused by years of rocket fire that have plagued residents of the Gaza border area. murdered with her 72 year ol husband Gadi Haggai on October 7,
along with Thai workers, Beduin, Russian, French, US, UK, Ukranian
nationals,
corpses of murdered Israelis left to rot
in subterranean tunnels

invisibilise
the high on Captagon crazed Islamists
shoving machine gun barrels up the bloody vaginas
of the women they've just gang raped
or towing dissidents roped behind motorbikes
around the streets of gaza
throwing homosexuals and political rivals off
rooftops, enforcing a terrible homogenity and
preaching maediaval blood libels
and then
weave some kind of fairy tale that this
regressive barbarism
equals
"the resistance"

close one eye
so you only see gaza
not the other side of the border
so you don't see the North of Israel
depopulated by more missiles than the blitz
150 000 more
pointing at you

close one eye
so you only see the snippet
not the before or after

close both eyes
so you don't see yourself
staring back at you in the mirror
preaching and sanctimoniously stealing
your cheap and easy rectitude

one thing I know for sure
if you sat where Israelis sat
fucker
you'd be doing a whole lot
worse than them



From FB July 17 24


I drifted
helplessly
between
stars
in the inky
blackness
of interstellar
space

kicking
and pumping
furiously
with legs
and arms
to draw closer
to one of those
distant lights
but no matter
the effort, I
seemed to remain
dark years
away.

exhausted
I stopped
and floated
in the
void



FB 20 August


Glad Tidings


The first cockroach

of spring

welcome brother

(or is it sister?)


16 Aug FB


when getting naked

the last garments

we remove

are

words


like

body

mind

_______________


Glimmers


being

emerged from

the sea

and when the time 

was right

returned

____________




ה נתן

ה לקח

יהי ה מבורך מעתה ועד עולם 


The Omnipresent has given

The Omnipresent has taken

beyond space and time 

The Omnipresent is beautiful


_______


Love

washed her 

up on the shore

and when the tide receded

took her back


____________'


FB August 14


when people ask me
what I do
I say
I am a juggler

___________


FB August 8


I was unemployed
but then I went to a dog park
and a kelpie hired me
as his ball thrower


FB August 7


בהמתנה
בין הלידה
והמוות
יש רגעי חסד
ורגעי אושר
ולחיים אין הפכים
between
birth and death
moments of kindness
moments of joy
and Life
which has no opposite
-----------
in the meantime
while looking for
my anchor
my kehilah
my sanga
I anchor others

________________________________

FB 4 August

In a relationship
with the clouds
the grass
my breath
__________________________________

July 31

Falling awake

I dozed off 
to the lecture
on enlightenment

________________________________

FB July 28

a quiet light
shines just as bright
__________

July 17 2024

Just to hear a voice she spoke
________________________

to kiss
innocence
to embrace
what is ageless

undiscovered always fresh
light as a giggle
awkward
graceful
like a newborn foal (FB July 13 2024)
______________
The way consumerism
grinds you down
with its special character
and one Capital
passwords
with its
"laziness penalty"
insurance premium increases premiocre products
with its debit orders
that drain,
while you sleep,
your bank account
with its
meaningless choices
inadequacy advertising
and sticky web
of "buy now pay later"
that waters addiction
and lays you down
on astroturf
with its trailing commissions
and hungry functionaries
power dressed
to hide transaction fees
with its scripted call centres
permanently experiencing
higher than usual
call volumes
The way consumerism
can wear you down
with its facsimile of service
its worship of convenience
its pretence of consultation
with its funnelling customers
and marketing metrics
and mountains of junk
just beyond the back door

with its spiralling
complexity
and tales told by idiots
full of sound and fury
signifying nothing


Nisargadatta I Am That


We begin with

and they all lived happily ever after 

and then slowly dial it back

to include 

mom dead at 53

divorce

non viable piglets bashed into concrete floor (cheapest)

degenerative diseases

random acts of cruelty and seemingly 

senseless acts of destruction

trajectory into addiction and self-harm

distorted thinking, 

pregnant couple slain by teenage driver

double anal penetration for your voyeuristic pleasure


and we want to go back

to Adam and Chavah 

and the lion and the lamb

naked and unashamed 

in the garden of innocence


cogniscent that 

The Self cares nothing 

for name and form,

underneath this shadowy horror play,

I yearn to see the holiness and the wholeness

the kindness that is mighty and invincible

the clarity and charity that dissolves madness

the rock steady reality beyond, behind, between, inside, 

not indifferent to, but untouched by

both nightmares and sweet dreams

_____________


Every day

for four years

I've been driving home

past the same trees

quietly living their lives

without ever considering their 

story:

how they came to be there

how they spend their time

are they pleased

that bird chose them

who else have they 

witnessed

come and go?


_________



when I tell myself

my dog is bored

as she lies and patiently waits 

I tend to feel guilty

but when I tell myself she's in dog samadhi - happy just to be, and being this thought comforts me

____________________


Samadhi - In yoga regarded as a state in which union with the divine is realised (before or at death).

 ______________________


I am an ageing
ageless
Lord Krishna
cavorting with the gopis
they hug me
embrace me,

see me as I am

(FB July 15 2024)

________________________________________


Let me tell you this
my child
the body will
not survive
and yet
all is well
_______

the more isolation
the more addiction
the more addiction
the more isolation
'til something
gives

(FB July 14 2024)

__________________________________


am in high
demand
on dating apps
with 80 year old
great grandmothers
and hungry

gay men
(FB July 14 or 15 2024)
_______________________________________

A poem for sleepless knights


Sleepless knights 

if they still believe 

in chivalry 

seek it from

a blister pack

toss and turn

watch netflix

stare at their phones

count windmills

paddle to the loo

fight battles

count their wounds

try to shed their armour

wait for sleep

or the dawn

___________


THE BANALITY OF GOOD


I meet a man

at spit bridge

of similar age

also walking with his 

dog

who works for marine rescue

and who recently freed

a pelican that had become

ensnared in fishing line

that fishers carelessly

leave ( with rusty hooks)

on rocks and piers and jettys, 

(he had to throw a towel over it's  head, to calm it)

and we talked about how

we are always picking up 

plastic rubbish at our

local beaches

before it goes back into

the ocean to despoil and

damage

and then we wished each other

well

and parted ways

and little did he know or suspect

that I am a Zionist


_____________

I arranged an inter-faith
dinner
for all the. G-ds
but seating arrangements
proved difficult
as there was room
for only
One
___________

Declaration of The Faith

Allah Hoo Akbar!
G-d is great!

stab
stab
stab

_______________


הבדידות הולכת איתי
לכל מקום
ולכן
אני אף פעם
לא בודד
_______________

פתאום
ענן של עצב
התישב עלי
אבל אני נשארתי
שדה פתוח
______________

פתאום
ענן של עצב
התישב עלי
והוריד דמעות -
גשמי ברכה

_____________________
The Butterfly Defect
Because of
Iran's war
upon Israel
A Jewish student
in Canberra
was kicked out
of her sharehousell react
________________

The uplights
on the path
meant to show the way
blinded me
so what was once vaguely discernable
became impossible to see
________________

אני רוצה
להיות איתך
כזיכרון
מתוק
________

both the known
and the apparent
knower
are held in knowing
which can never
be known
__________

PREPARATORY EXERCISES
Many of us
before we can begin
some focused task
- marking student papers
- doing our tax
- changing the brake pads
need to get ourselves into the zone
- by sharpening pencils
- raking the leaves
- cleansing the bench tops
and those focused, demanding, necessary tasks
we have avoided for days
or months
or years
are themselves preparatory tasks
for the quiet that settles
when the task is done
________________________

from fb April 28th

tis an ancient mariner
and he stoppeth one of three
and he says: "I've lost my dog
but now she roameth free"
_________________________

Vacuuming
Ella's hairs
and associated sand
and garden debris
from the couch
almost six weeks
since she dropped
her body
I feel momentarily
guilty
and miss her warm
and loving presence
friend if only
I could hug you once again
________

FB 27 April 24

am curious
want
at least for a while
to have access to
the secret life
of other peoples bodies
their rythms
and responses
__________________

FB 21 April 24

Riddle me riddle me ree:
as soon as you are going towards it
you are going away from it
________


I went to

a singles gathering


perhaps driven there

by something I could

approximate as too

much time spent

with my own 

overly familiar

interior conversation


and ended up 

trapped in an

exchange of phatic

sentences

with a group of large 

women

in tent like dresses

with weathered faces

and deep gravelly voices

and hands like shovels

that could have knocked me out cold

with one punch


feeling light headed

as if I had slipped

rohypnol 

into my own drink


I  managed to escape

in the nick of time

______________


market forces

have got to

the honey suckle

the jasmin

and the frangipani


please tap

or swipe

here

to release

their scent

______________



First there was just G-d

then there was me and G-d

then there was me, a wife, and G-d

then there was me, a wife, a family, and G-d

then there was me, a wife, a family, a dog, and G-d

then there was me, half a family, a dog, and G-d

then there was me, a dog, and G-d

then there was just me and G-d

then there was just G-d

_________________


In the night

G-d scatters leaves

upon the carpet of the lawn

so that in the morning

the wedding

of first light

can take place

once again

__________________


everyone

is beautiful

in their own way

and everyone

has someone

who cared about them

at least once


the whole world

is built from loving grace

I don't know how 

but I’d like to believe

that even cancer particles

are kindness 

in disguise

______________


some journeys

need to be made on your own


in order to realise what holds both 

together and alone

_____________


Confusion I


I've been to the west and I've been to the east 

and I'm bloated with spirit like a warm bowl of yeast

I've been to the ashram, I've been on retreat

I've sat in the silence, I've stopped eating meat


I'm so enlightened I can't find my head

perhaps it has rolled away under the bed

I've been to satsang and I've been such a whore

and yet I'm no settled than I was before

__________ 




Cloud 


I was on a plane

everything was smooth


then we flew into a cloud

soft and fluffy and pink.


I got lost in that cloud

whatever was outside 

was unimportant


we lost altitude

I didn’t care

cloud, cloud and more cloud

oooooooh...  cloud


then we popped out of cloud

or cloud popped out of me

the air was thin and clear


hopefully I scanned the horizon 

for cloud

_________



Running the City to Surf 


The city to surf I ran alone 

without a true friend 

without a true home 


plasticup shards 

formed an angry sea 

dark footprint of human

loomed over me 


from the barbies 

the ex cows asked 

wistfully:


"what has all this to do with me?" 

_________



In Memoriam: Eli 


I knew a kibbutznik

who worked in the laundry by day

And at night slipped little poems under peoples’ doors


regarded as eccentric,

as happens in small communities,

he was gossiped about

in the dining room

or after passing on the path.


he handed me a little booklet of his poems

photocopied and stapled

and I might still have it 

somewhere

________________


Psalm of Immanuel


eyes

come back into your sockets


cheeks release

your taughtened lips 


hands unfurl

your clutching fingers


mind please

drop your story 


make way for the 

King of Glory


________________________

PROMISE


the all new impressa

will take happy families

on holidays

turn into the driveways

of manicured houses

pull up at hotels

ford rivers and forests

on endless adventures


will never take you

to a job you hate

to a hospital

to a divorce lawyer

to a vehicle accident

to a cemetery


_______

I called the call centre

I was feeling so bad

but then had one of the most wonderful interactions

I've ever had

Guided by voice prompts I gave my date of birth and ID

eventually I heard a click, and a voice spoke to me:

"Did you know  it said, "by taking your query online"

"you can save yourself a lot of valuable time"

Then they kindly played me a soothing tune

while I paced up and down

between the walls of my room

I boiled the kettle

made a nice cup of tea

watched a game show ep

upon the tv

did some gardening, fixed a tap

fed the dog who then

fell asleep in my lap

I started feeling a little perturbed

although I couldn't say why

I searched for help on the the website

till my eyes were red and dry

while they played more soothing music

and I clutched onto that phone

I suppose that song repeating

became a kind of glassy drone

on the plus side it helped me feel

slightly less alone

my eyes were getting heavy when after an hour or so

the music stopped and a human voice said something soft and low

"good morning,,,er good afternoon...is there anyone there...hello?

"I'm  have this problem" I gabbled "at a really critical time"

"I've tried the website, I've read the manual, but I cannot get back online."

"oh we can certainly help you with that tonight

can I just grab your name if that's all right"

"My name is Shachar", I said, "it just stopped"

"I was working and suddenly the connection dropped

And it hasn’t come back, no matter what I’ve done

Rebooted, reentered, debugged - its just gone"

"My name is Michelle,we can certainly help you today

But first a few security questions if I may."

I relaxed, felt relieved, we were moving along

this woman would sort out whatever was wrong

"Your password please, ends in 13 zeroes...?"

"my password" I stuttered,  "I don't recall one of those."

"That’s all right, your birth date and id number will do"

"But I’ve given them already, your cueing system asked me to

You’ve been very helpful, you’re awfully nice

But why do you have to capture things twice?"

"Its for your own safety, the calls are recorded

They’re logged and encoded, in case you’re defrauded

I gave her my id, I gave my date of birth

Gave my address, my weight, my girth

“thank you so much for that Suker”

“Shachar”

“Sorry, Sucker, now why were you calling this afternoon” she said

“Eeets because, medem, aish, my modem router, she is dead”

"Sorry, what did you say", Michelle's voice came down the line

would you prefer to call back at a more convenient time?"

"No I want this resolved now, I want you to sort it out!"

 "All right" said Michelle, "there's no need to shout"

I looked out the window

I looked at a tree

It seemed to be much much

much calmer

than me…

(to be continued hopefully)




______________________




Moral Narcissism: “Pro Palestinian” encampment 2024


In the name of

tolerance

we exclude you

in the name of inclusion

we other you

in the name of diversity

we cancel you

in the name of humanity

we dehumanise you


_____________



I sent my poems

to a dying man

so that like pharoh

they would accompany him

into the next world



__________


LOVERS' LEAP

when the universe catches you

in its safety net,

and you bounce

up and down

a few times,

and sigh


and all the vigilance

stored in the body

evaporates,

and you wonder

why you waited

so long

but know it was fear,


and you glimpse

the ocean of beneficence

waiting to carry you

to places

more alive

than any

imagining


if somehow

in your clown shoes

you found it in you

to shuffle

to the edge

and fall

__________________


time took my black head of hair

time took my first guitar

time took away

my innocence

now if time will take

away my "my"

what will remain

and to whom will it belong?

_____________________


HOOKUP

Seeking immunity

diplomatic

or crude

seeking immunity

from covid

and flu

seeking immunity

from suffering

and pain

seeking immunity

from the transient

changeful

hook me up

with eternity

now

_____________________________________________

_______


come out Immanuel

from under your rock

come out and take

the air


come out Immanuel

from your pretty green eyes

come out to see

what's here


come out Immanuel

from inside your shell

come out and

wave your claws


come out Immanuel

from the cave where you hide

come out to Life's

sorrow and joys

__________________



_____________________________

Back to Basics


I chatted 

about the romantic poets

short stories

journals, competitions

to

the young woman

with well manicured

nails

and tight pants

who works at

the chicken shop 

next door

and is studying

literature

at university

and thought

how sweet

was the visible outline

of her cunt

___________


I am driving through
hilly forests
on a winding green
arched road
and alongside me
a woman I am easy with
who has large lactating breasts
and every 5kms or so
we pull over
and she feeds me
_______________


Poetry as Punishment


I have a friend

who went to a school

where misdemeanours

were punished

by the principal

by giving pupils

a poem to learn

off by heart

such as

"The Man from Snowy River"

or "The Lady of Shallot"

which then had

to be recited

to the whole school

at assembly

and while some things

have faded

the punishment poems

remain with them

'til this day


for me too

poetry is a punishment

for thinking and feeling 

that has not been forgotten

until this day

_______________